.Wednesday, January 07, 2009@9:34 PM.
just need to take some time off to blog this..
took 1 of my results ytd..
and im utterly disappointed in myself..
very disappointed..
didnt expect it to be like it..
and i dun even noe why i can let it take over me when i promise myself not to do so..
why is it controlling me when i noe i can do it..
and i sort of predict my other results too..
not pinning any high hopes on it..
but im gonna be happy for the results that i get..
i admit that in the past i feel uneasy when i dun get it..
but nw.. to be frank..
im fine..
even if i dun get it.. im okie..
i dun feel uneasy and all.. not lying..
to be frank..
i know i told wife loads of time that im out of this shit..
but i noe she wont believe me as i noe that she have the "gan jue"..
but i can stand firm now and say that im out..
YES!!! im out of this shit already..=)
and to be frank..
when i took my results ytd..
i was smiling like nobody business just to hide the disappointment that i have..
stuipd right..
but dun i have a choice..
i really cant forgive myself for doing that..
im i slept freaking early ytd..
just not to think about the results..
but it results in..
im still soOO down and disappointed in myself that i dun even wanna talk in school today..
i was soOo into my own world that wife they all had to repeat twice so that i noe what are they talking about..
and i was soOo into my own world that i force the stupid tiredness face to them today..
just to let them noe that im tired..
but to be frank..
im not.. just hiding it away from them..
dun wanna them to worry and all.. but i noe they still do..
but i've promise myself that i will do well in my studies after i step out from my examnation room on the last paper..
coz i dun that i wont do that well..
i might not get the results that i wanted..
but i told myself that no matter what..
even if the sky is to fall on me..
im going to study hard..
im going to get my goals that i aimed for..
and i noe that i can do it..
thats my new yr resolution too..
and i noe once i set my mind to it i can do it..
and whats past is the past..
its a new beginning to everything..
and i mean everything..
im leaving all the unhappiness and all behind..
and im going to work hard for my future including my studies..
and im just going to say..
VANESSA IS GOING TO WORK HARD AND ACHEIVE MY GOALS..
AND I MEAN THAT..
take care peeps..=)
